Corny Colonel
by The Androgynous Alchemist
Summary: Roy x Ed Written for a deviant competition. 'Roy's so smitten with Ed he's turned into a complete sap'  Ed's not sleeping, Roy's worried, only good things can happen.


'_**Roy is so smitten with Ed he's turned into a complete sap'**_

**This was written for a deviant competition, even if I don't win its still another story to add to the collection :)**

It was a normal day in Central.

As normal as life could be for the FullMetal Alchemist. It was early morning, the violet clouds were fading far from view of the human eye and the grass was wet with dew, shimmering under the light of the rising sun.

After struggling to remain deep in sleep, Edward had finally given up trying to nod off again and spent the remainder of the night watching the sky, enjoying the rare sound of silence in the usually bustling city. Despite the sting of tiredness, the blond was in bliss, or as close as he could get to it.

Ed was already dressed, gazing through the glass as his cheek rested on the icy pane, a puff of warm breath clouding his view of the outside world. Honestly, it didn't look like much of a world to him from where he was sitting. Never before had he seen a city so urban.

But beyond the empire of houses and the endless fog of pollution, beauty did exist in central, in the form of Roy Mustang.

If someone asked Ed what he liked about the Colonel, what would he answer?

He loved the colour of his dark eyes, the way they burned with passion and desire, like every inch of his body. He loved the warmth of his skin, his elegant fingers that marvelled beneath a pair of white gloves.

There were many things Edward loved about Roy, and in truth, there were too many to answer. Why would anyone ask him anyway? There was always the thick net of assumption consuming the Elric. Everyone assumed he hated the man with every fibre of his body and soul.

It hurt to think about it.

As a pair of golden eyes admired the beaming sun seeping through the clouds, Ed wondered what people thought of his 'attitude' towards the Colonel. Disgusting? Ungrateful?

A smile perched upon his lips; it was almost time for work.

Second thoughts. Perhaps he didn't care what people said. The very thought of feasting his eyes on the dark haired beauty ceased all negativity instantly. Today was going to be a good day.

It was still early.

Craning his neck to the clock, the blond decided that perhaps being early wasn't such a bad thing. He didn't mind at all waiting on that comfortable leather couch all by himself.

Before he latched the door, Edward glanced at the framed picture by his bedside, two blonds with warm welcoming smiles. Alphonse and Winry.

Ed missed his brother without a single doubt, but gradually he had become accustomed to living alone. If Al was happy, then so was he. Extremely happy. /

The wind whipped as his hair, a refreshing wakeup call from Mother Nature.

The walk to work was always Roy's favourite part of the day. The sun was shining, the streets were empty and best of all, he was still far from paperwork. It was a beautiful day, and not even his hideous navy uniform could ruin it.

The morning so far had been... unusually expressive. The alarm had sounded far too early, the toast had been blackened beyond repair, and on his way out of the house a stray shoe decided to make its presence known. Other than a few unfortunate mishaps, the Colonel was in a wonderful mood.

Perhaps it was last night's phone call that had such a significant impact on his spirit. Roy had been talking to his favourite blond, Edward. He could still remember twirling the cord though his fingers, laughing like a school girl.

What could he say? Ed had that sort of effect on him, like laughing gas, plaguing him until his lungs were sore.

All happiness aside, the Colonel was worried. All week Edward has been having trouble sleeping, arriving at work with dark shadows under his golden eyes. Giving the blond missions had left Roy feeling incredibly guilty; however there was little he could do.

Today, he was determined for Ed to take it easy, if only for a few hours, even if it did mean fighting with his stubborn attitude.

Just as the raven caught sight of the intimidating military gates, he decided to take a small detour, disappearing into the distance with a smile on his face and a spring in each step. /

Headquarters was already beginning to fill with soldiers, yawning and chattering as the disappeared into rooms left right and centre, some lingering reluctantly in the hallways before their busy schedules began.

It wasn't unusual that most of the offices were still locked. When Roy reached for the keys in his pocket, he was surprised to find the door was already open. Odd. The Colonel was always the first to arrive every morning, accept today perhaps.

His subordinate's desks remained untouched, while the door to his office had been left wide open, a neatly dressed teenager occupying the couch. /

Edward awoke to a familiar cold sensation against his cheek, the leather couch that was undeniably older than him, almost an artefact. The dull ticking of the clock rang in his ears and a warm hand was buried deep in his hair, caressing his scalp, raking though the long trails of gold hair.

Ed didn't have to open his eyes. There was only one person who liked to toy with his hair so gracefully. The Colonel was always reminding him how wonderful the strands of silk felt as they ran through his fingers, impeccably soft to the touch.

The young alchemist stifled a yawn and sleepily stretched, narrowly avoiding Roy's face with a metallic elbow. Hazy eyes admired the well toned chest looming over him. He could already imagine the feeling of elastic beneath his palm, a wall of fine muscle that all the Amestrisian girls longed to touch, reserved for him only.

"I see your finished sleeping on my couch."

"Oh, I don't know..." Ed wondered, burrowing deeper into the furniture like a cat, arching his back as he heaved his body into a seating position, arms folded under his head like a make-shift pillow. The couch dipped beside him, a familiar raven headed Colonel slipped an arm casually around the teens shoulders, pulling him close.

"You haven't been sleeping again."

Bingo, caught in the act.

"You could tell?" Ed sighed, rubbing his temples and frowning. There was no use hiding anything from Roy anymore. It never worked.

"If it gets any worse I'm taking you to a doctor."

"Royyyyyy!" The blonde whined, knowing full well he wasn't getting out of this one.

"Can I do anything to change your mind?" he muttered into the man's shirt.

"No."

'Damn,' Ed thought, 'He didn't even think about it.'

"Not even... if I did this?" The Colonel had to crack a smile. Trust Ed to try and seduce him in his own office.

"Edward..." The blond straddled his thighs and locked lips hungrily, smirking as his victim began to groan 'helplessly'.

"Did it work?"

"Oh, I don't know..."

The teen rolled his eyes and resumed trying to persuade his superior, a most pleasurable challenge. If every disagreement was going to be this good, Ed made a note to let it happen far more often. /

"Is this about nightmares?" Roy asked, carefully approaching the touchy subject, rifling through a pile of papers on his desk. He was waiting for the usual denial and adamant response. What he hadn't been expecting was a warm puff of breath tickling his ear, and a strong body pressing his hips against the hard wall.

"My dreams at the moment are _far_ from nightmares... If you get lucky later I just might show you."

"As much as I'd like to stay like this all day, we both have work to do."

After pecking his lover on the lips, Roy took hold on the blond's shoulders and guided him swiftly to the door, giving him a playful wink before clinking it shut. A satisfied grin formed on Ed's face, like a Cheshire cat.

The office was already lively. As soon as the door clicked shut, several faces looked up, Jean in particular looking extremely smug about something. Usually in a similar situation, the teen would have panicked. The man was highly unpredictable. Thank fully today, he could see what all of the commotion was about.

On Edwards desk, was a beautiful bouquet of flowers, red roses wrapped neatly in a sheet of white paper. As his colleagues continued to stare in awe and wonder, the blond failed to hide the tinted blush creeping across his cheeks.

"Something you want to share with us Chief?"

"No."

Jean was sure he wasn't the only person bubbling with curiosity. He knew far too well that Ed was a private person, and rarely shared anything about his life outside work, the man knew this from experience. Many times had Jean pressed the teen for an answer, only meeting the angry wrath of the alchemist.

Beneath his flamboyant front, Edward was a shy person.

The young alchemist pulled off his left glove with his teeth and picked out a single rose. A thorn pricked at his finger, but Ed barely noticed the small trickle of blood staining his tanned skin. He was far too busy admiring his beautiful flower. Admittedly, it was an unusual choice of gift for a male; after all, flowers were traditionally given to the ladies.

This, he decided was by far his favourite from the bunch. The petals curled softly at the tips, fading to a delicate pink, and for the remainder of the day, the rose lived in Edward's top pocket.

It was odd for the alchemist to be seen wearing red again, his team mates thought they had seen the last of the colour when his trademark coat had gone into retirement. /

Many hours later, the day was almost over, and Ed was glad to finally be free. Free of the questions and constant nagging for answers. It had been... an interesting day in the least, consisting of a box of chocolates being planted in his draw, and a nosey bunch of men stalking him around the office. At least Risa had manners.

Every sentence that had dropped from Jeans mouth all afternoon had either ended with teasing or sarcasm.

Roy had been suspiciously in his office all day, safe from the firing line of suspicion. The team were heading out for drinks at the local bar, patiently waiting for Jean. Ed sincerely hoped the man made a sharp exit; otherwise he wasn't going to make it to his desintation that night.

"Ed, are you sure you don't know who-"

"POSITIVE. Now go get pissed already."

The blond didn't budge. Ed could already feel his temper beginning to soar dangerously. Closing his eyes, he took a calm breath.

"Jean, if you're not gone by the time my eyes open, you'll be drinking out of a straw for the next five months."

Click. The door hastily closed, and a pleased looking Edward twirled the tag from his flowers through his gloved fingers, reading the familiar scrawl under the dim office lights. /

It was that same evening Ed found himself perched on a high barstool, the smell of strong alcohol stinging his nostrils. The raven sat beside him slyly ran a finger down the blond's thigh, making him blush profoundly in mid conversation.

"What's the occasion anyway?" the teen mumbled, hidden in a mop of stray hair. Roy tucked the wild strands behind Ed's ear and smiled sweetly, batting his lashes.

"Must I need an excuse to dote upon my lover?"

The Elric responded by staring confusedly, as if the man had just spoken a foreign language.

"Whatever you say Romeo, are you going to buy me another drink?" Ed asked, pushing the crystal glass across the wooden counter with a single finger.

The Colonel responded silently by taking the glass from the blonds hand and linking their fingers together, pulling him towards the door with a mysterious wink.

As Roy reached for the handle, the door opened right on cue, revealing a familiar bunch of military dressed individuals, all looking rather tipsy. They stared from Roy to Ed, and then to the two hands laced together in affection.

The raven erased the smile from his face and replaced it with a serious scowl, mentally mocking the reactions emerging from his subordinates.

"If anyone calls in sick tomorrow, I'll make you all work overtime for a month."

Roy's lips curled into a smile as he waved them hastily goodbye before any of them could utter a word, suppressing his laughter a short while longer.

As the couple wondered further and further down the dark street, Edward shook his head and shoved the man in the chest playfully with a finger, smirking as he walked.

"Aww you big bully, no wonder they hate you."

"Hates a strong word..."

"And I dare to use it."

"Shorty."

"Cradle snatcher!"

The Colonel pouted, clutching his 'broken heart' with a frown, and he wiped the invisible tears from the corners of his onyx eyes, leading the blond through the winding streets of central, with one particular destination in mind.

"C'mon gramps, I didn't mean it. What I meant to say was you only look old."

Roy raised a brow in question, only to be greeted with Edwards cheeky grin and the rude flicker of his tongue.

Usually, silence was ugly and awkward, like a big weight hanging in the air, making its presence acknowledged by everyone. Tonight, it was light and peaceful, relaxing almost.

If it hadn't been for the gentle glow of the street lamps, Edward probably wouldn't have noticed. Noticed the enormous field of flourishing green grass that stretched miles beyond the horizon, and the abandoned park, were many memories had been made.

The words were lingering at the very tip of his tongue... but they were stuck, lodged in the back of his throat.

"Roy..." Ed's feet had a mind of their own, tracing the steps he hadn't taken for years. If Ed looked deep enough, he could still recall his small childhood, the few moments he and Al managed to have as kids.

When the sun had gone down those many years ago, a red coated blond and his armoured brother emerged.

Some days they had talked, some days they hadn't.

Sometimes they had sparred, and sometimes, very rarely, they had played, chased each other like wild animals the whole night long.

The young alchemist found himself sat on the black swing, a person stood behind him, arms wrapped lovingly around his small waist, nestled between his neck and shoulder blade. Perhaps Roy had bought him here through sheer coincidence. Perhaps he never knew, or maybe... maybe Ed had been too blind to notice.

"How did you know?" the blond could feel the man's smile against his skin, the smile he had grown to love.

"You're not the only one who likes to take walks at night... couldn't sleep?"

"I'll say... So that's why you were always so tired."

"It was worth every minute just to see you be a kid once in a while."

When the last word had left his mouth, the Elric rose to his feet and took one last glance back, grinning. A few moments later, Roy craned his neck, to see a cocky looking blond wave back from the top of the climbing frame.

"Hear that?"

"Hear what?" the raven asked, muttering childishly.

"It's... Jealousy!"

Ed reached out a foot, pointing his toes at his superior.

"Kiss it Mustang."

"Beg."

With one swift swipe of his hand, the Colonel grasped the ankle dangling just inches from his face, and yanked the mighty looking alchemist from his throne, sending them both crashing to the ground in a tangled heap.

Edward lay flat on his back, arms pinned above his head while Roy's heart fluttered against his ribs. He felt each beat humming, pounding in sync with his own. It would have been too easy to escape from the man's grasp, but it was far easier to let the raven do as he pleased as long as it made him happy.

At that moment, the rest of the world was gone, replaced with another, a much better one. It was just Flame and FullMetal, their limbs tangled together and the violet sky looming over them, their only witness.

Roy decided that this world was by far his favourite. He was blind to all of life's dangers, there was no society to take judgement, and the rules didn't exist, the past either. Ishbal didn't plague his dreams, and best of all, he had the beautiful blond right where he wanted him.

"Close your eyes and give me your hand."

A scarlet blush tinted Edward's cheeks as he closed his eyes nervously, a warm hand holding his own, the flesh one. Teeth tugged as the glove covering his long fingers, the man's touching flaring against his skin like a brand.

"Open."

Two hands laced together.

Two matching rings.

Two smiles, and a pair of lips engaged in a welcoming battle.

Ed could feel the tangle of black locks glide through his fingers, a motion he'd committed a million times before.

The blond beamed, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world..."

"Beat me right to the punch."

"I think someone's getting sappy in their old age..."

Roy raised a brow, "Oh really? Too old to take you to the hotel this weekend?"

"THERES MORE? Have you always been stinking rich?"

"Ask me no questions and I will tell you no lies," he winked, toying with the gold on the young alchemist's finger.

"I take it back. Sappy isn't the word..."

"Oh?"

"Corny, definitely corny."

"And you love it."


End file.
